Mixed Nuts

Last night was a very unpleasant night.  I somehow had this negative feeling of worthlessness inside me.  I have a job which I do not excel so much, the money that I do not have, the things that I only dream of having, and a very concrete plan for my life... ...nothing.  Sometimes I wonder what is really my worth in this world, as a husband, as a father, as an employee, as a human being.  I find myself unworthy of such great things because of my stubbornness and inactivity of my mind.  I think that there is something wrong with my brain as it is not responding to what I like it to do, produce positive thoughts and intuitive ideas.  It seems that if I want to think of something what I get are mixed nuts, cannot distinguish, cannot get the right ingredient.  Simple mathematical calculations are done with extra effort instead of a simple execution.  Is it because of too much coffee or lack of sleep?  I really would like to fix myself by doing something great, unimaginable, kind and heart fulfilling.  But right now I am still wondering what that is.  I admit that I am quite bored and unsatisfied with my existence.  I hope that this journey of finding my one true worth will be worth living with and that I find my one true self amidst of all the surrounding negativity.  I will try to be positive that God will let me see the light and will lead me to the right path.  Good luck to me.