Mixed Nuts

Last night was a very unpleasant night.  I somehow had this negative feeling of worthlessness inside me.  I have a job which I do not excel so much, the money that I do not have, the things that I only dream of having, and a very concrete plan for my life... ...nothing.  Sometimes I wonder what is really my worth in this world, as a husband, as a father, as an employee, as a human being.  I find myself unworthy of such great things because of my stubbornness and inactivity of my mind.  I think that there is something wrong with my brain as it is not responding to what I like it to do, produce positive thoughts and intuitive ideas.  It seems that if I want to think of something what I get are mixed nuts, cannot distinguish, cannot get the right ingredient.  Simple mathematical calculations are done with extra effort instead of a simple execution.  Is it because of too much coffee or lack of sleep?  I really would like to fix myself by doing something great, unimaginable, kind and heart fulfilling.  But right now I am still wondering what that is.  I admit that I am quite bored and unsatisfied with my existence.  I hope that this journey of finding my one true worth will be worth living with and that I find my one true self amidst of all the surrounding negativity.  I will try to be positive that God will let me see the light and will lead me to the right path.  Good luck to me.

Emotion

There are times when things don't go your way and everything else sucks. You feel you are alone and does not have somebody to talk to than yourself. Sometimes I wish I stay as a kid which easily forgets everything when given an ice cream or candy.

Times Like These? You need a Juicy!

There is a day in your life when somebody sparks anger into your mood. Well for me today I just had that spark this morning when my wife scolded at me. The one thing I hate is if somebody calls me names and it strikes directly to your soul. I admit I am quite sensitive and I get downhearted easily. But there are some words that is hard to digest. Words that were already marked as scars in you and is wounded again by someone close to you and a simple sorry does not heal the lesions. I'd rather dive into silence but sometimes it is hard to keep it within you. I oftentimes think of using up all my energy on a punching bag until it is only sand and dust. I hate it during times like these where your chest wants to explode and your heart is already pumping oil instead of blood. Outlets could be any kind and anything. That is why I went out and had eaten my favorite finger food which is Tokuyaki and also bought myself a glass of Iced tea. I forget about the event and head to do the things that calm me. Watching a movie is also a former past time of mine that is why I watched one just to calm my cells down. I thank God that I am able to inhibit myself and not a being a disastrous person. I hope that I am able to control myself more during times like these. Just like the Juicy Fruit commercial says "Times like these, you need a Juicy!"

She

Last June 23rd is my wife's birthday and I dedicate this space for her.
She is my best friend and better-half and she occupies the largest part of my heart. She is always beside me and she will always be. In the morning she is hard to understand but as soon as she gets hold of herself she is like heaven and eggs. She takes care of my son and she knows him more than anyone else. She is a loving mother but does not tolerate wrong doings. She is soft as cotton but hard as stone when it comes to discipline. She wastes no time and she is action oriented. She moves like flash and as strong as wonder woman. Sometimes I wonder where her invisible jet is parked. Her magic lasso is her perseverance and strong will to survive. She has a high level of financial literacy that is why she is good in budgeting our monthly expenses. But sometimes she gets hot headed when we talk about money. She believes that having debt is a bad idea and not having one is a major key to financial freedom. Sometimes she is hard to understand but I know that whatever she is doing is for the good of our family.

To my loving wife, I wish you a Happy Birthday and I wish that all our dreams will come true.

Life's a Career

Hi, I am an ordinary person who likes to dream big things in life. I am jolly person and enjoys cracking jokes with anyone that i am engaged with a conversation. Im already 31 and I had a negative cashflow. But viewing my statement I forgot that I am saving money which is less than my total monthly income. At that moment I realized that I'm hanging on a thread too close to bankruptcy. That is why Im searching for other alternate sources of income. We already put up this Internet Cafe Bussiness but it's still not enough to meet our monthly spending. I'm still thinking of other alternatives which are doable and realistic.

Overtime

Sometimes I do not like to go Overtime because I do not have time with my family by the time I get home.
I sometimes wish that I have this mobile office where I can take it home with me and do my work there.
But I also figured out that whatever work I bring home it ends up being undone.
Well anyway, I still have the weekends to enjoy my son and spend more time with my lovely wife.
I hope that you will also have time with your family more than your work.
Always remember that we work for leisure and not leisure to work.
Have a nice day!

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Hilow

Hello everyone.
Thanks for visiting my Blog.
It's new because I'm quite new to blogging.
By the way, I'm Ryan Rey Jarina, 31 years old (As of June, 2009), male (Obviously), happily married (sorry for the beautiful babes), and lives in the Philippines. Where in the Philippines? I'd rather not tell but probably you might know in the near future. You can recognize me if I bump into you by looking at my eyes (as you can see at the right side of this page). They are striking yet if you look closely they are really angelic. Some people mistaken me as to be a snob. Maybe because of the form of my eyebrows which like intersects at the middle and of course the eyes so striking like Antonio Banderas, or Tony Almeda (A character of the TV Series "24"). That is why some people think that I am silent but deadly (but not like a fart). But the truth is that I am really a jolly person when it comes to my friends and relatives. When you get to know me I am really heart warming and honest to goodness friendly. I like making people laugh and do now want to get laughed at(quite unfair isn't it).